This process is designed to be "Hard." Breaking such ingrained behaviors requires a structured, often rigorous approach. The difficulty is the point; it is through struggling against the "old" that the "new" emerges. A submissive is forced to confront his automatic responses, his selfish impulses, and his lazy patterns. As one follower noted in a discussion regarding submission, the "fear and pain is solicited by me, motivated by an excitement and a wish to show my adoration and surrender". The hard part isn't cruelty; it is the crucible in which the "good boy" is forged.